North America | United States of America (USA) | Pacific North West | Oregon – Sweet Home, Oregon
I found it a bit ironic that on the plane ride back to the states they played the movies, ‘Sweet Home, Alabama.’ To start with, we were only supposed to watch one movie. But, our flight was delayed so they said they would ‘treat’ us with another movie, but did mention that we might not have time to finish it. The bottom line of the movie is a small-town girl leaves home and her simple sweetheart behind and heads to New York where she becomes a well-known designer and gets engaged to the mayor’s son. The movie hinges on the question of who Reece Witherspoon is going to marry.
I felt like the movie was about me, simple boy back home, perfect guy in NY. It hit more than a nerve, it hit home. And I thought a lot about the movie as it was playing, and there was this one part I won’t forget. Reece was getting dressed to marry the rich guy, and you could see it in her face that she wasn’t happy, and her mom told her it was a good choice, because he was a good man from a good family who would provide for her. And I have heard myself say that many times, and at that moment, I realized that although I have said it over and over, I didn’t ever mean it in my heart.
As the movie was coming to an end, it scared me to think that this would be how my life would end. So, like all the other passengers, I kept my headphones on and my eyes focused to the small screen. But, out plane began to prepare for landing, and the movie wasn’t over. Yet, we kept watching. Then the plane landed, and we kept watching. Finally, as she was walking down the aisle, the captain turned the power off and we were left there, wondering, guessing, but knowing deep down what must have happened. Once again I saw the symbolism in that film as I was grabbing my bag, getting prepared to face state soil. It couldn’t end for me, either, because I hadn’t made up my choice. That’s why I was going home, so I could do what I had to and move on.
As Reece found out, it hasn’t been as easy as I thought it would be. You can’t just show back up, jump back in somebody’s life, and then tell them it is over. Life is more complicated than that, people are more complcated than that, and love, especially is more complicated than that. So here I am, in that state of limbo, not knowing what to do. But, with the knowledge that two other people are affected by what I do in the next week, one very positively, and the other, well, the other will move on in their life without me being a part of it. Maybe I am about to say goodbye to two years of memories–some bad (i won’t lie), but so many that were good… Maybe I am about to throw it all away for somebody who isn’t even ready to start a new relationship. I guess I will never truly know what the outcome would be of both decisions, because I only have one chance. But, I need to make that decision soon, because life and love can’t always wait forever…
I just wish I could have seen the end of that movie, I wish I could have somebody show me that everything works out, and life really is like a fairytale and dreams always come true. But that isn’t going to happen, we pick our reality, not Hollywood. Brilliant minds didn’t write the plot for my next week home, that is something I am going to have to do, on my own, listening to my heart, consulting my mind, and being honest with myself and others… But, it does feel good to be home, in sweet home, Oregon.