Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg – Preparing..

Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg – Preparing..

It seems like in life we are always preparing for something– a hello, a goodbye, an event, a moment, a song, or a person… And each time I think it is going to be easier ‘next time,’ but every ‘next time’ is only more difficult, because I have experienced that much more of life, I have learned the reality of these moments that occur, and I understand life a little better… And I realize the process, moving on and all that good stuff… And I also realize that I will soon look back on these moments in life, and it’s not that I will belittle them, or forget them, but I will, to a degree, have forgotten them and replaced them with whoever and whatever is currently important to me in my life.

So, like I keep telling myself, AJY as I know is about to end, and I have finally come to terms with this idea. But, I just wish it didn’t have to end this way– being left behind. I remember at the beginning of this semester I saw the sheet on the wall of the year vs. semester students, and I didn’t really pay attention. I didn’t care because we were one, indivisible, undefined, yet still one. And now, part of me wishes I would have looked at the semester kids and avoided them like the plague, kept them at a distance from me, and especially, from my heart. But alas, I would have cheated myself out of an experience that helped changed my views on every aspect about me and my relationships with those in my life…

Tonight Lisa and me went on what was most likely to be our last doener run… Months ago we learned about each other on these ‘runs.’ but they were for ice cream, back when the days were long and the nights were warm… And like the seasons have changed, so has our relationship. It has grown and blossomed, and we have (hopefully) learned from eachother, and now it is time for her to more on. And she’s the kind of girl that leaves hte past behind, and before I know it, AJY will just be in her past, a few crazy pics on the wall, and a million hilarious stories to tell after a few long islands…

I feel like this week I am going to close a lot of chapters, and I am ready… I am both looking forward to spending Christmas in Europe, yet really sad about not being with my family, because the holiday season is about family. I cried on the army post today when I was mailing my Christmas packages home… I was all stressed out because I didn’t think they would get there in time, and the guy working there asked me if it was my first Christmas away from home, and when i answered i started crying… It was actually kinda funny, because we were joking around about it, and he was telling me what he did on his first holiday away from home, and we were laughing, but I still couldn’t stop crying…

That kinda wore me out… Time to stop talking and preparing for this week, and go do it…

Category : Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg , Uncategorized