Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg – bathroom revelations…

Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg – bathroom revelations…

I realized something today as I was going to the bathroom, staring out the window. An odd time, it would appear, but in reality it is the best time. When nothing can bother me, no emails to respond to, calls to answer, errands to run. It is a justifiable time-out that nobody can take away from me in this hectic world. So I relax, think, and stare out the window… And today it hit me. I have been staring out the window on and off for about eight months coming. I have seen all the seasons out the window. I firmly believe it is the best seat in the house to sit and watch what goes on in Heidelberg. When I have guests I take them to that seat, free of charge, and let them watch the show–the house across the way without blinds, the road below with the busses passing by every ten minutes, and the beautiful rhine neckar river, always filled with some activity. I have seen the fall leaves fall, the cruise boats stop going as the tourists stopped coming, the snow pour down and blanket our little town, the crew boats back on the water as the weather has warmed, and more sunsets (and even sunrises) from that seat than any other place. I don’t even always go into the bathroom for a purpose, just to check out what has changed on my stage.

So today it hit me. It is the same. So much has happened these past two months, so much I don’t even know where to start. I went home for my 21st bday in january, and that was a hoot. It was the toughest thing being home but knowing I had to come back. I got a glimpse of what my life would have been like had I stayed. And to tell the truth, it wouldn’t have been a bad place to have been. Good people, good times, it would have been perfect. But, alas, I chose this road, and I wouldn’t change that for anything…

After Oregon I headed out east and spent a couple weeks in Penn and NY. I went there a little unsure of why I was going, but willing to start a new relationship and start the game of love over. And I learned a lot in a short time. I learned that deep down I have an evil girl in me that can be cruel, and she would come out no matter what I did sometimes. But, I put my heart into it, and we shall see where that takes us… So, that meant I ended a long relationship, and started a new one, which is mildly scary.

I returned to Germany to a new batch of students in my program, who just can’t compare to the old kids and I haven’t given a chance to. I am not a fan of them, but that is largely a result of me not making the time to hang out or bond. THen my parents came for two weeks to visit me (and are still here)… And Thursday I leave for three or more weeks of travelling, destination italy and greece. SO, I haven’t had a chance to sit down and process all the thoughts and emotions that have been pressing in and down on me from all directions…

But today, like I said, it all made sense. It doesn’t matter what has happened, who has left or entered my life, because the lady accross the way was drying her blue load of laundry. I can always tell what laundry she has done because it is hanging out the window. And i thought of how many other times I have seen her with her load of blues. A million. Well, not a million, but a lot. And no matter where I go or what I do in the next few months, I have the feeling she is going to keep washing her blues and drying them out that window. I will leave this place in august, and a new student will take my place. I am okay with that, because I have somewhere else to be. But I just hope that my replacement takes a second to look out that window before he/she pulls the blind down. Because they can shut out the world outside for ten minutes, but times passes, and the lady will still be washing her blues, whether or not it is evident through the window…

So wherever I end up, it is okay, and whatever I do wrong, it is also okay. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed and what turns I took from the road I am intended to follow, it is okay. And I believe this for two reasons… I will always have the bathroom window to come back to, and the lady will still be washing her blues…

Category : Europe | Germany | South | Heidelberg , Uncategorized