Europe | Germany – I am here, finally!!!

Europe | Germany – I am here, finally!!!

A melancholy state… That´s a good description of how I feel right now… It is 5.45 am and I just spent my first night in Germany, and due to the wonder effects of jet lag I can´t sleep… Oh well, I have to be up in two hours, so attempting to sleep might just be pointless…

I am excited to get myeslf set up here and do this. Right now I feel really lost and hopeless, but I know soon enough it will all come together, and there´s nothing to do besides be patient. But, on the upside, there seems to be some cool people here with the American Junior Year (AJY) program I am a part of.

It is a lonely feeling, laying her in southern Germany, in a house full of Germans with a trashy kitchen and filthy bathrooms, knowing that right now Emily, Alma, and Ellie are living it up in their sweet apartment, probably making dinner together, talking and laughing, watching TV, maybe even the Simpsons… After spending the night there I saw what I would be missing, and it made it really hard to leave. It was hard enough saying goodbye to the possibility of another amazing year with them, but then saying goodbye to each of them killed me.. As I was heading into security and I saw the tears running down Emily´s cheek, her expression almost made me turn back, it just broke my heart…

And I already miss my family. I felt like I was abandoning them, running away from our team… The last memory of my sister still chokes me up, her holding me and not letting me go, but yet pushing me away so that I would do this, something I knew I had to do… I almost feel selfish for leaving. This is impacting more than just me. So, I better make it worth it, I better make every opportunity and live these 12 months to their fullest, especially since I realize how lucky I am to be here…

But this is my time to go, this is for me, and I don´t regret anything…

But I better take a nap before my first class…

Category : Europe | Germany , Uncategorized