Europe | France | Paris – Paris…the French Kiss
I feel like bloody hell today. I am completely hung over and feel like someone slipped me a mickey or something. I couldnt get out of bed until after 11 this morning (which never happens since I cant sleep in for the life of me) and I look and feel like hell. So much for strolling through the Louvre or doing yoga, I made it as far as three blocks from the flat and have resigned myself to spending the day slowly shopping a 2 block area before I melt down for a nap. The luxury (and curse) of being on constant vacation is that there is no sense of urgency to get anything done, ever.
I was talking with a group of people for a few hours while nursing a glass of wine at a nearby bar last night (after some killer moonshine from Africa with my cousin, 2 vodka tonics and no dinner) when suddenly my eyes went crossed and I was shitfaced. After I left the bar, a young frenchman was walking in the same direction. He said hello, what is your name, where are you from blah blah blah. He is an engineer (who cares I just want to make it home because I dont want to melt down on the street). He asks if I want to go out some more, I say no thank you but it was nice meeting you. We go to part ways, we go in for the customary 2 cheek kiss goodbye and this &*%$#er jams his tongue in my mouth. Just like that, no prelude, no build up, no hand hold. I was so shocked I pulled away as fast as humanly possible and said NO, what are you doing???? wiping his defiling spit off my mouth. I was pissed, I mean, isnt it customary to go out on a date or something before you kiss someone, or at least warm them up a bit before you jam your tongue down their throat???? Disgusting! My french family thinks it’s hilarious and say this is not customary for the french and the guy was a jerk. Unfortunately, last night was the first night of this whole trip that I forgot my pepper spray.