Asia | Korea, Republic of | Seoul – Royalty
It seems like everywhere I go I get treated like a King. At least that was the way it was tonight. A girl gave me a ticket to a show, in which the Ryul Chamber Choir and the Ryul Chamber Orchestra performed Handels Messiah. I have not ever watched the entire thing. I had no idea it was so long. Somewhere after the intermission is when I really started to lose it. But then something happened, right after the Hallelujah Chorus the whole performance took on a new light. It was almost like a meditation, a prayer if you may. I started thinking of all the things that I was grateful for, and all the wonderful things I have been able to experience in my life. It truly has been a wonderful gift. The performers were incredibly talented and extremely disciplined. I had to shift my weight about a hundred times, and one of the soloists, the baritone I believe it was, sat in an upright position, unflinching, the entire three hour performance. Another wonderful moment was near the end, watching the director move and hold everything, ever sound under his control. For those few hours he was in perfect balance, and all of that hard work had paid off. It really was a moment of brilliance for what you could tell, but maybe not really realize enough, how much hard work was put into tonights performance. Before the show we received better seats from one of the soloists, the sopranos, father. He was a really nice man, well groomed, yet with an open giving spirit. A good man through and through. He introduced us to his daughter after the show and asked how he would like us to be introduced. Very formal. I had never even put any thought into how I would like to be introduced, what I would like to be defined as. I know that I wrote out a few things of who I am, and how I define myself, but I dont think any of them have actually materialized yet. They are still in the visualization stages. Let me say that I am still under construction. Maybe someday I will be able to look someone in the eye and tell them who I am, and what I believe in, but today, I am still learning. Green is growing, ripe is rotten. The other thing that was really funny was the fact that about a hour into it Tony started getting really restless. He started fidgeting and playing with hands and poking around. At first I started getting annoyed with the fact that he couldnt act mature, and just enjoy the show for what it was. But then when he wasnt there, and they didnt make it back before intermission, I was lonely. The show suddenly lost its interest, and I started falling asleep. I mean the show was the same, it was still good, it was me, and my excitement level that I was sharing with another human being had declined. Now I know what you are thinking, because I am thinking it right now. What is this? Are you gay? This thing where when Tony is around your happy and when he isnt you are bored. No, no its not like that at all. It is like that with pretty much any human being. It is like that more so with Tony because he is a close friend. Kiwha, Tonys girlfriend was there too, and I would have felt the same if she had stayed with me. So in some ways, when I say Tony wasnt acting mature. I was right in more ways than one. It was an act. More than anything else, I was putting on my own little performance, pretending to be cultured and understanding of the music at hand. When in actuality, when my audience was gone, the actor fell asleep. Of course there were moments I genuinely enjoyed. Mostly the ones that I was personally familiar with. The songs that I had sung before. When the angel comes and sings, I guess it is titled, And Suddenly There Was The Angel, and then of course the Hallelujah Chorus and Glory to God, those parts are all inspirational. Or should I say, those parts all rock. I just really feel so lucky. So grateful that I have had the opportunity to live the life I have. I really dont think I would want it any other way. I would like to be more disciplined, and a little more focused. A little better at finishing the tasks I start, and maybe be able to follow orders a little more willingly, but other than that, I think I am pretty happy with the way things are turning out. I have been having those thoughts that I am going to die again. I know that nobody really knows when they are going to die, and that it is not mine to know, but I keep feeling like I had better hurry up and get everything done, and for that matter hurry up and have a kid, because that is what really matters.